Bash Away All
by Red Witch
Summary: After the guys go nuts during Just One Big Bash, the XLadies and the Misfit girls decide to hold a session of their own! About the guys! Uh oh...


**It's a crime that I don't own any X-Men Evolution or GI Joe characters. Well some of you have suggested that the girls do their own take of bashing after I did the fic 'Just One Big Bash'. This is for the both of you. When will people learn not to encourage me? Hopefully never! **

**Bash Away All**

"What good is having a healer around if they don't completely fix you up?" Tabitha grumbled as Jean telekinetically lifted her out of her hospital bed into a wheelchair. She was wearing a pair of yellow and orange pajamas. "I mean couldn't Lifeline do it all in one sitting?"

Xavier was there as well. "Tabitha your body has endured tremendous trauma. Even though your wounds are healed it will be a while for your body to completely recover."

"I'm just saying it stinks! I can hardly wait until I get out of this stupid chair," Tabitha grumbled.

"At least you'll be able to eventually **leave **your chair," Xavier gave her a wry look.

"Oops," Tabitha apologized. "Sorry Professor. You know me, open mouth, insert foot."

"It's all right," Xavier chuckled. "Jean why don't you take her upstairs?"

"Good idea," Jean said. "Come on." She started to take Tabitha upstairs.

"Hey you know I can wheel myself?" Tabitha said. "You don't have to push me."

"Considering what happened the last time we let you try it, I think it might be safer," Jean gave her a wry look as they went into the elevator. "For everyone else!"

"Hey it's not as easy as it looks to steer this thing!" Tabitha protested. "Besides, Wolvie's got a healing factor and Scott's foot wasn't completely crushed or anything. I mean he and the other guys were already in the infirmary after their little meeting the other day!"

"I swear those boys," Jean breathed out an annoyed sigh. "Act more like children than X-Men sometimes."

"Well you have to admit they were pretty funny," Tabitha said as the elevator door opened.

"Who was funny?" Kitty asked as she walked in.

"The guys complaining about each other," Tabitha told her.

"Oh yeah most of them have to wax the X-Jet for at least a month," Kitty giggled. "Come on the others are waiting."

The door opened again and they got out. Soon they were in the solarium where they found all the X-Girls, the Misfit girls and Amanda. "All right let's get this party started!" Tabitha whooped.

"I think we shouldn't do anything **too **strenuous," Jean suggested as she parked Tabitha and sat down on a couch.

"What? Just cause I nearly died a couple of days ago?" Tabitha asked. "Hey I'm up for anything!"

"Really?" Rahne gave a mischievous grin. "How about a Danger Room session?"

"Well **almost **anything," Tabitha said. "That's the only good thing about this whole mess!"

"Well what do we do then?" Angelica asked.

"We could always gossip," Amanda said. "Which I could really use since I'm being home schooled and don't see anybody."

"Really? Why?" Kitty asked.

"Well besides the whole sorceress in training thing, people at school started hassling me because I'm dating Kurt," Amanda told them. "And it wasn't always the other kids."

"Imagine what they'd do if they found out you could use magic," Althea said aloud.

"Exactly," Amanda agreed. "Fortunately Mom decided that it might be to my advantage to stay at home and get my diploma through a correspondence course or a GED."

"Well that's pretty cool," Wanda said. "Is Dr. Strange still popping by to give you lessons?"

"Yeah he says he needs to work with a student smarter than Benny," Amanda smirked. "So what's been going on here? Besides the fact that Tabitha was nearly skewered by Evan."

"Nearly? I was shish kabob!" Tabitha groaned. "No wonder the guys joined Pietro's stupid 'I Hate Evan Club'!"

"Which conflicted with all their other little hate clubs of each other," Althea said. "Which led to the fist fight and a few holes in the walls."

"Wow, things are never dull around here are they?" Lina remarked.

"Especially with Speedy and his stupid fixations," Tabitha said. "He ran that stupid club even back in the Brotherhood days! He's so immature."

"And I suppose you never had an I Hate Jean Grey club?" Jean raised an eyebrow.

"I wouldn't exactly call it a club," Tabitha shrugged.

"Yeah we just got together over coffee sometimes and…" Kitty began. Then realized her mistake. "Whoops…"

"Way to go Ditz!" Rogue rolled her eyes. "What part of 'never tell Jean' did you **not **get?"

"Yeah, like I never would have figured it out anyway," Jean said sarcastically. "I always knew you were making fun of me behind my back!"

"Well you gotta admit Jean you were an easy target," Tabitha said. "Hello? Duncan Matthews? Need I say more?"

"Yeah Miss 'I'll Ditch My Friends At School To Be Part of the Popular Crowd,'" Rogue said.

"Miss String Scott Along While Hanging With Duncan?" Kitty added.

"Miss Ignore the Pain Duncan Was Giving My Sweet Innocent Toddles?" Althea snapped. "That poor boy! I've had to comfort him many times."

"Please Al, **don't** get into **that!**" Wanda groaned.

"Forget Toad!" Amara said. "How about all the garbage Duncan gave us when we were freshmen?"

"Not to mention all the lovely notes he left in our lockers after we all came out?" Tabitha asked.

"Okay! I get it! **I get it!** When am I ever going to put that horrible part of my past behind me?" Jean moaned. "I made a mistake okay?"

"A real **big** mistake!" Jubilee said.

"Was he that bad?" Rina asked.

"Oh god was he ever!" Kitty groaned. "Remember the Sadie Hawkins Dance where all the monsters got loose from that other dimension and he took off to get drunk leaving Jean behind?"

"He also spent most of the night talking to his buddies and wouldn't dance with Jean," Rogue added.

"He like, looked in his pocket comb mirror twelve times a day!" Kitty said. "And he liked to push people around like some kind of thug."

"This from the girl who's dating a former Brotherhood member?" Rahne asked.

"Hey, at least Lance **tries** to better himself," Kitty said sharply. "Which is more than Duncan ever did!"

"True, Lance does try. He never succeeds but he tries," Rogue remarked.

"Oh yeah? What about Remy?" Kitty mocked.

"No comment!" Rogue shook her head.

"That's what I thought," Kitty said smugly. "At least Lance was never engaged to an assassin!"

"WHAT? WHEN?" Amanda asked.

"Before he joined Magneto," Rogue said. "It was an arranged marriage with the member of a rival clan. But his future brother in law attacked him during the ceremony and he had to kill him and flee New Orleans. Needless to say the bride didn't take it that well."

"Whoa," Amanda blinked.

"She's not so bad, for the leader of a group of assassins," Rogue said. "She's a lot of fun."

"Rogue, she kidnapped you and got you drunk," Amara told her.

"Yeah but she didn't mean it," Rogue said. "It was the Swamp Rat she was really mad at and to be honest I didn't blame her!"

"I swear you people have the most interesting lives around here," Amanda blinked. "It's like one big soap opera!"

"You don't know the half of it," Rogue groaned. "Especially with Mystique getting married and all."

"What? When did this happen?" Amanda asked.

"Doesn't Kurt tell you **anything?**" Rogue shouted. "It was around Christmas!"

"He didn't say anything!" Amanda snapped. "I knew she was pregnant but…"

"That idiot!" Tabitha snapped. "Of course if my mom married Zartan I wouldn't be too eager to spread the news myself."

"Oh my god!" Amanda threw up her hands. "This is what I meant when I told him to be more open with me!"

"Funny, he has no problems getting into everyone else's business," Rogue said.

"And he pops up in front of people whenever you least expect it," Kitty said. "I mean like his timing totally stinks!"

"Tell me about it!" Jean groaned. "It's like nearly every time Scott and I try to get some time alone! Bam! There he is right in the middle of us! Scott had a few close calls…"

"Well as bad as he is," Wanda said. "He's nowhere near as annoying as my brother!"

"I dunno," Rogue said. "I think Bobby kind of comes close. Hell even Jamie knows more about privacy than he does!"

"Bobby's not so bad," Jubilee said.

"That's only because you like him," Rina taunted.

"Shut up!" Jubilee made a face at her.

"Well speaking from someone who liked Bobby once he is rather immature," Amara said. "That's why we kind of broke up. Well that and the whole fire and ice thing."

"You guys were barely together a week," Kitty scoffed. "What do you know about relationships?"

"Oh forgive me oh Queen of Dating," Amara mocked. "I forgot out of **everyone **you're the expert!"

"HA!" Rogue said.

"And you all made fun of **my** dating choices?" Jean asked.

"Kitty you could write a book just about Lance and Peter alone!" Angelica said.

"Forget the book," Rahne said. "She could write whole series! No wonder Tabby thought she was trying to steal Ray!"

"Don't remind me!" Tabitha groaned.

"Wait now how did this go?"Danielle asked. "I forgot."

"Ray and Tabby hooked up for a bit but Ray kind of had a wandering eye," Kitty said. "And it landed on me, even though I was totally with Peter at that point."

"After breaking up with Lance, **again!**" Rogue said. "Anyway Ray ditched Tabby and then hooked up with Amara."

"But the way he did it, he made me think that Kitty was the one who was into him," Tabitha said. "The little electric rat lied to me to cover his own pathetic butt! Now I admit I believed him and thought Kitty was to blame. So I decided to get back at her in the most rational way possible."

"If by rational you mean jumping in the pool with Peter and flashing him, yeah," Kitty glared at her. "**That's** rational! Then you made a play for Peter every chance you got! You know I'd actually **forgotten **about that!"

"Well with all the twists and turns your relationship with those two have you'd need a road map to keep it straight," Angelica said.

"So Kitty then dumped Peter for Lance **again**," Amara said. "And not long after that we all found out what a dog Ray was! He can't keep his eyes off of any girl!"

"Yeah he was such a jerk," Tabitha groaned. "What did I ever see in him?"

"You were on the rebound from my brother," Wanda pointed out.

"In his dreams I was!" Tabitha snapped.

"You never went out?" Wanda asked. "But he said…Who am I kidding? This is Pietro we're talking about!"

"You know for a guy who's a virgin he's a pretty good player," Althea remarked.

"You serious?" Amanda asked.

"Oh yeah," Althea grinned. "Todd told us all about it."

"Well who'd have thought that would be the one area Speedy would be slower than Evan in?" Tabitha snickered.

"That's not exactly an accomplishment," Rogue grunted folding her arms. "And I'm not just saying that because I can't touch anyone!"

"Rogue's right," Jubilee said. "I mean you can get all sorts of diseases and stuff! Eww!"

"We saw a film about it a while ago," Lina said. "We had a health class."

"Sure put the kibosh on any curiosity me and Todd had," Althea grumbled. "But we both decided to wait a bit anyway. I mean, we're gonna be with each other forever, what's the rush?"

"I don't think any of us are really ready for sex just yet," Amara admitted.

"Well we know one person who is," Tabitha grinned at Jean.

"I don't think we should talk about this…" Jean began.

"Some of us can **only **talk about this!" Rogue said. "The least you could do is give me some good sex stories so I know what I'm missing."

"Or maybe fulfill some fantasies?" Tabitha snickered.

"Yeah we all know you used to have a crush on Scott," Kitty said.

"**Used to!** Past tense!" Rogue snapped. "Believe me, I grew out of that phase! Like I was the only one who had a crush, **Kitty? Amara? Rahne?** Besides I told all of you about Remy's little Peter Cottontail thing! So you owe me! Spill it Jean!"

"Wait you guys had a crush on Scott?" Jean looked at the girls.

"Just a little one," Rahne admitted.

"Kinda," Kitty shrugged.

"You gotta admit, he has a nice butt," Amara admitted. The girls all laughed at this.

"Come on Jean," Althea waved. "We're dying to know how good he is."

"Or how bad he is," Wanda grinned.

"Wanda!" Jean snapped. She indicated Spyder and the Triplets.

"Oh yeah, like we never heard this stuff before!" Daria said sarcastically.

"You should see their Playgirl collection," Spyder said.

"Trust us, it's nothing we haven't heard before," Quinn said.

"Shipwreck is our father you know?" Brittany said. "Besides what do you think we're gonna do? Just go do it with someone if we hear this?"

"I don't really want an answer to that," Jean groaned. Then she thought. "However, there is this one little thing…"

Ten minutes later Scott had the misfortune to walk past the girls. "Hey girls have you seen…?" He began.

Immediately all the girls looked at him for five seconds. Then they burst out laughing and pointing. Jean was bright red and Tabitha was soon on the floor laughing.

"I **never** know what goes on around here…" Scott groaned as he walked away. "And something tells me I'm better off that way."


End file.
